There are days I doubt His presence, His ability to answer prayers, lately, I could tell I had been doubting quite often. I still studied the Bible and journaled through my readings but in the back of my mind I hesitated to fully believe. Apparently God decided to give me a little nudge toward the path of believing.
The night before I had had a rough night with my friend and a guy I had liked. I woke up feeling angry and betrayed. I silently asked God, “should I be mad? Am I overreacting?”. I wasn’t receiving an answer which only made me more upset. I pouted throughout the day and basically had a huge pity party for my bad night. Then I headed towards my Bible study with a close friend. It was our first day of it so we were discussing how to start, where to start, and what to do. I suggested that I flip through the book and randomly land on a verse and then we would discuss it. As I was flipping I again silently asked God, “should I be mad?” and as I stopped to point at a verse and started to read I felt a smack in the face, a punch in the gut, and became weak in the knees.
I ended up in the book of Psalms, ironic because it is the most emotional book in the Bible. I pointed to chapter 37. The first words I read were, “Quit being angry and dismiss fury; do not get heated; it leads only to evil.” I knew right then that He existed, He was listening, and He was answering. Since that day I haven’t doubted Him once and I don’t think I ever will again.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to believe in an idea so complex that your brain cannot even comprehend it. But let me assure you, it is not impossible. If you open your ears, eyes, and heart to God He will protect you, heal you, and answer you.